Vacation = Over

Minor Vacation. 

   Since Friday, Renos have been in full force on the laundry room/bathroom.
I saw it smart to put this on hold, in fear of failure. I kept my patience, we didn't fight too much. But in all reality, you're going to fight when you're trying to line up heavy sheets of drywall on a cieling/wall. (I've always wondered why people have tiled cielings. Well, I get it now.)

    So, here we go again. Wednesday marked my "starting again." The walls are done, we are just waiting on mudding, I have actual walls. We are so close to a finished main floor. Ridiculous to even think it was possible In 6 months. 

   Dare 9:

                                Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. 
                                                  Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.  
                           Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

 This is actually one of our few tiffs. I tend to greet him when he comes home like its something I "have to do". I just treat it routinely, and don't act excited to see him. I've always excused it with just not being in "home mode" yet. I guess just cause my job makes me a little crazy some days. 


     I came home, and did the opposite. Acted excited to see him, asked about his day, hung out with him on the porch, (as I read Gary Chapmans, love languages, which teaches me about the importance of Quality Time to him.)...... Results? I think it may take a few more times to get a reaction. :) 


     Dare 10:
                              Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse ---
                   something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your                                                                                                                                                             choice and nothing else.  Wash her car.  Clean the kitchen.  Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry.  Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

 Hrmmmmm. 

This is hard! 

:) Till tomorrow. 

-D

Day 7!

I just had to share this. Its like my new favourite song on repeat. Yes, I usually have one of those untill I murder it blind untill there is just no listening to that song EVER again. or any song that resembles this song, or its children. Cutest. Song. Ever.

   Anyhoo,

Since I have absolutely no ability to keep any sort of paper in an organized fashion, I will list these things on my blog. That way, I can just click and find it.  I know. its kinda cheating, whatevs.  don't judge. :)

My list of good things:
(hrmmm. is there a limit? I sure hope not.)
1. Caring
2. Funny
3. Lighthearted
4. understanding
5. Thinks i'm some sort of supermodel
6. looks at me, like nobody else has ever looked at me.
7. smiles like a child when i kiss him. every time.
8. Makes me coffee every day just to see me smile
9. Tries to make me happy in everythign he does.
10. loves his family
11. he yells at me.
12. he feels bad for yelling at me
(yes, its a good thing. I should be put in my place sometimes! )
13. He cleans. (kinda)
14. He's handy.




My list of bad things:
1. He's a bit insensitive to very sensitive issues.
2. He doesn't quite understand the words "completed job" :)
3. I think thats really it. He's kinda great.


♥
Mandie

Apparently I'm just flawless!

So I asked hubby 3 things that make him uncomfortable irritated. He said he'd think about it while at work, and let me know when he gets home from work. 

   FAST FORWARD!

4:30 pm: 

Me: "Did you want to talk about those 3 things now?"

Him: "ummmm. I really couldn't think of any.... besides the making kissing feel 'routine'"..

Me: "Okay. I guess i'm all kinds of perfect, then?"

Day 6 Dare

"Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.  Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule.  Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life."

So I guess I really only have 1 thing to address in todays dare (according to him)... should be an easy peasy kinda day. 

On the bright side, my house is still clean. So I'm a nice person lately. Its amazing how easy I am to please as of late.

 Zen = happy.

Chaos = tweakshow.

Untill tomorrow, 

Mandie ♥

bump.

Okay.  So maybe i don't quit, per say, maybe just a slight bump in the road. 

Sometimes, when you are more than aware that you are putting in a maximum amount of effort for self-improvement, in order to help the relationship, and have it really just completely unnoticed. 

I feel like I didn't do that in anger for that happening to me, 

I feel like I did that in anger for how long I've done that to another. 

Today’s Dare

Ask your spouse to tell you three 

things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you.You must do so without attacking themor justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

-----------------------------

Ohhhh dear. 

This should be interesting.

I can already feel the amount of money this is going to cost me in self-help books. 

LOTS. 

I quit.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device.

Day 4 - I gotta feelin.

Before I get to today's dare, I feel as though I should probably update my progress, as I had a few things left to do. 

My "unexpected gesture" was completed the next day. My "wifey duties" are probably my weakest point. I don't really pack lunches. I just don't do it because I don't want it to be an expected thing, because I know I wouldn't be a reliable source of packed lunches. I can barely remember to feed myself all day. 

Soooo, we came home from dinner, with some leftover salad, and I knew Kyle wouldn't have leftovers for dinner. So I cooked up some chicken, (praying to god I remember how to cook chicken through).. made some toppings for a wrap, a tuna salad, and some snacks.It was beyond appreciated. 

As I clap my hands together in accomplishment, onto my next. Yesterday, I was to buy him something to say "I was thinking of you." Hrmmm.

This was a tough one. Boys are the simplest of creatures, and we'd just gone through this big talk of how we were going to avoid spending money on nonsense.

We were driving to drop off a few donations @ goodwill, and we stopped at the store. I picked him up a lemon-lime gatorade.  He LOVES those, but never thinks to pick them up. Mission accomplished. I got me a smile. 

Onto today. I'm to call him for no reason at all but to see if he needs anything. 

hrmmm. He's gonna know somethings up. 

Untill tomorrow :) 

Day 2 and 3 update...

I feel like I may have chosen a crummy weekend to start this, but then again there is probably never a great time to start.

Day 1 went well, I refrained from saying anything negative. We had a pretty solid night. He needed a new cell, so we had a bit of a hiccup as I said he was being crappy at bargaining his mobile plan. But I realized what I'd done, and quickly apologized. I think the apology in itself threw him for a loop! Haha.

Day 2  I was to also refrain from saying something negative, as well as doing an "unexpected gesture". That's a lot harder than it sounds! I only had a limited amount of time due to a 11am to 2am bachelorette party. I was thinking of making breakfast, but that's not all that "unexpected." it was a challenge! I guess it is on my "left to do list." I may take care of that tomorrow while he's at work.

Tomorrows dare:
  "Buy something for your spouse to let them know you were thinking of them".

Hrmmmmmm. This is tough!

Nite :)

I've decided upon ... The Love Dare.

Sooo... We've only been married what, 3 weeks?  I know, we should be on this long period of "honeymooning".... but in all reality, things don't work like they used to. We live together for years, we reap all of the financial benefits of marriage through common law rulings, there really isn't anything that changes after you get married besides cheaper car insurance and some rings.

     We are just as screwed as we were before. I lovvvvve my husband to bits. I am there through every stupid decision we make. And we've made a ton of them. We bought our forever home last year, and it was basically falling apart. It needed every serious repair that you could probably list on a home inspection. Luckily, Hubby is pretty handy, and we avoided any huge repair costs. But that doesn't necessarily mean that we avoided any tension. Tension is like our little third spouse.

   Thats really to be expected when you buy a home like ours. When you mix a seriously old home, no closets, powertools at every corner, 2 rottweilers, you probably won't have the happiest of wives in the mix. But we'll get through it. I feel like I just need to train myself to just have a little more patience, and just keep calm. I feel like at our age, this probably shouldn't be where we should be financially, mentally, or emotionally, but this is where we are. So I guess we should do something to fix it.


   I'd love if someone could recommend a few books as to handle heated conversations, because I come by it honestly, I'm not exactly one to sit calmly and resolve an issue in an hour. It usually involves a heated debate, a cool down day or 2, followed by acting like nothing ever happened and everythings just peachy.
Productive, eh?

   After a few more than tense days, I realized that we need to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING to change this circle of frustration that we end up in every few weeks. Where nothing changes, we fight about the same things, and nothing gets resolved.

    Sooooooo lets try the love dare, shall we? :)

Day 1:

I tell ya. This is not going to be an easy 40 days. But I will do it. 

Looking forward to updating you tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

-D